Archive for N.L.P

03 Feb 2012
Change Work • Guest Articles • N.L.P • Personal Responsibility

The Flow

I thought this article might be of interest to readers of this blog…

Flow (psychology)

Flow is the mental state of operation in which a person in an activity is fully immersed in a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and success in the process of the activity. Proposed by Mihály Csíkszentmihályi, the positive psychology concept has been widely referenced across a variety of fields.

According to Csíkszentmihályi, flow is completely focused motivation. It is a single-minded immersion and represents perhaps the ultimate in harnessing the emotions in the service of performing and learning. In flow, the emotions are not just contained and channeled, but positive, energized, and aligned with the task at hand. To be caught in the ennui of depression or the agitation of anxiety is to be barred from flow. The hallmark of flow is a feeling of spontaneous joy, even rapture, while performing a task although flow is also described as a deep focus on nothing but the activity – not even oneself or one’s emotions.

Colloquial terms for this or similar mental states include: to be on the ball, in the moment, present, in the zone, wired in, in the groove, or owning.

Csíkszentmihályi identifies the following ten factors as accompanying an experience of flow

  1. Clear goals (expectations and rules are discernible and goals are attainable and align appropriately with one’s skill set and abilities). Moreover, the challenge level and skill level should both be high.
  2. Concentrating, a high degree of concentration on a limited field of attention (a person engaged in the activity will have the opportunity to focus and to delve deeply into it).
  3. A loss of the feeling of self-consciousness, the merging of action and awareness.
  4. Distorted sense of time, one’s subjective experience of time is altered.
  5. Direct and immediate feedback (successes and failures in the course of the activity are apparent, so that behavior can be adjusted as needed).
  6. Balance between ability level and challenge (the activity is neither too easy nor too difficult).
  7. A sense of personal control over the situation or activity.
  8. The activity is intrinsically rewarding, so there is an effortlessness of action.
  9. A lack of awareness of bodily needs (to the extent that one can reach a point of great hunger or fatigue without realizing it)
  10. Absorption into the activity, narrowing of the focus of awareness down to the activity itself, action awareness merging.

Not all are needed for flow to be experienced.

Csíkszentmihályi may have been the first to describe this concept in Western psychology, but as he himself readily acknowledge he was most certainly not the first to quantify the concept of flow or develop applications based on the concept.

For millennia, practitioners of Eastern religions such as Hinduism, Buddhism and Taoism have honed the discipline of overcoming the duality of self and object as a central feature of spiritual development. Eastern spiritual practitioners have developed a very thorough and holistic set of theories around overcoming duality of self and object, tested and refined through spiritual practice instead of the systematic rigor and controls of modern science.

source: The Mysteries of Creation

 

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16 Jan 2012
Change Work • N.L.P

Two Minutes For Change No 1

So here’s the first in a series of Two Minute Motivational ideas, sound-bytes and activities that you can use to manage change…

 

 

Enjoy

Alan

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16 Sep 2011
Change Work • N.L.P • News • Personal Responsibility

Rambles of a Rational Mystic

Ramblings of a Rational Mystic..

This book is an eclectic mix of comments, mini-essays and provocative opinions on topics such as Near Death Experiences, Witchcraft, Qabalah, Neurology, Psychology, The Secret, Spiritualism and the Paranormal in general.

Written so that you can dip in and out of the pages as you wish and with the express intention of offering an explanation of Rational Mysticism – what it is, what it implies and how to treat yourself if you catch it – this is the ideal coffee time read.

Depending upon your particular persuasion (sceptic or believer) you will probably find yourself provoked, annoyed and challenged by some of the things in these pages.

But that’s the point… As Alan says “Playing Devil’s Advocate can provoke thinking and discussion. But if that bothers you just remember that EVERYTHING in this book is a LIE!”

You can buy the book here or check out the download..

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16 Sep 2011
Change Work • N.L.P

Trancework

Talking directly to the unconscious or creative part of your mind can be an empowering experience.

So many of our behavioural responses are generated from a mixture of conscious and unconscious processes and we rarely take the time to think about just what is going on in the ‘black box’ of our mind.

We accept the apparent behavioural choices which pop up in our consciousness when present with a particular situation and assume that they are the options we have – they are the basis of our free will.

This, of course, is not the case.

In so many ways what we are consciously aware of is the result of what our unconscious has already processed – so we consciously respond to only a limited set of choices.

Of course our unconscious is largely on our side so in most cases it’s filtering process is effective.

It is possible, however, that our unconscious has learned some limitations; that it has developed some protective mechanisms which are out of alignment with who we are, who we think we are and who we aspire to be.

In such cases talking directly to the unconscious might be of value.

Therapeutic Hypnosis, which is based upon the work of Milton Erickson, is an approach which allows for such a conversation.

There are many forms of Trancework, indeed some conversational change patterns in NLP require a degree of trance and dream re-entry techniques, SAR etc also utilise a trance work to a greater or lesser degree.

Therapeutic Hypnosis uses story and metaphor to engage the unconscious mind in considering how it does what it does.

It is a dynamic way to engage in personal change.

For those interested innlearning about the process InspireNLP offers an 18 taught day Diploma in Therapeutic Hyonosis.

The next one starts on the weekend of the 8th and 9th October 2011 and then runs for 9 weekends, roughly once a month. This particular training takes place in Penzance, Cornwall and further details can be obtained from:

alan@aljones.net

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15 May 2011
Change Work • Dreams • N.L.P

What’s Stopping You?

So here’s the deal…

You have a dream, an ambition a goal. In fact you have had dreams, ambitions and goals before BUT you’ve never really had the success you wanted.

So what went wrong?

Well the first thing to really think about is how YOU might be hijacking your own success.

Think what could be getting in your way?

May I offer some questions for you to consider..

Do you REALLY want what you dream you are dream?

We all have dreams, ambitions, desires and hopes but the reality of the things we wish for may be somewhat removed from the ideal which we imagine.

Dreams of wealth and fame are one thing, but the reality of those things may be something different.  Unless you ask the question WHAT WOULD BE DIFFERENT when I have achieved my goal and honestly reflect upon the ‘pros’ and ‘cons’ there is a possibility that the “unconscious self” will sabotage ‘conscious action’ so leading to frustration.

Have you REALLY planned for it?

This is more than just having a destination. It is about having a map of the journey.

This map needs to highlight the way-points, the pit-stops and the comfort breaks.

Recognise that goals change and dreams can evolve and that the journey itself is important.

Have you OPENLY STATED what you want?

Committing to a particular course of action, to a specific journey, in your own mind is one thing. Writing it down, promoting it and telling other people is something else. I will leave you to decide which is the more valuable in supporting you on your journey.

Have you PREPARED for SUCCESS

Preparing for success is about creating a vision of the ‘future you’ that is so complete that you can start to anticipate how other things that will change around you – that includes not only your behaviour but also the reactions and behaviours of others. Speak to any own who has won a large amount on a lottery and you will understand how this works.

Are you VALUES and ATTITUDES in line with your dream?

So you may desire something; you may dream about it and you may well start working towards it. If your internal values, personal attitudes and emotional compass are not in-line with what you are ‘becoming’ or ‘will become’ then you are on a path that will not bring happiness. If you have to sacrifice what you feel makes you in order to achieve a stated goal you are setting up stressful internal conflicts that may be difficult to resolve or reconcile.

Are you FRIGHTENED about living your dream?

In other words does success scare you?

This fear may come beliefs you have about your worthiness to succeed or from the thought that you will be moving away from what you know, what you are comfortable with.

It may sound obvious and a little ‘trite’ but CHANGE is the only CONSTANT in the universe.

Change brings with it uncertainty and doubt. It often requires you to step away from the comfort zone of what you know and who you know. There are many people who prefer to stay trapped within their comfort zone when faced with major, personal, life changing choices.

Thinking about these questions forces you to decide if what you dream is really your dream and helps better prepare you for total commitment to your future success.

Alan

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14 May 2011
Change Work • N.L.P

The 5 Step Motivation Model

Last year I was honoured to be invited to deliver a Key Note address at the Wiltshire PE Teachers Conference – a superb event which was very well attended. I was sharing the ‘platform’, as it were, with their first key note speaker Talan Skeels Piggins.

What can I say?

Not only was this mans story inspiring and inspirational; it was moving and motivational and very difficult to follow.

For those not in the know, Talan was a member of the 2010 UK Paralympic downhill skiing team.

He told his personal story of triumph over adversity starting in 2003 when he was involved in a horrific motorbike accident which left him paralysed from the chest down. His description of the accident and the aftermath had his audience horrified, amazed and amused.

If you get the chance to hear Talan speak then please take advantage of the opportunity.

During his talk I was not only as moved as the rest of the audience, but because I knew I had to follow his presentation, was forced to reflect more immediately on what he was saying. I remembered being in a similar situation having to ‘follow’ the Falklands vetran Simon Weston and a broad generalisation struck me.

It seems that it is only after a major life trauma, when we, as human beings, take careful stock of what it is we really want to achieve. When we are introduced to our mortality we have to take stock of what is important and valuable to us.

I recalled one of my early teachers/trainers asking me

“Alan, if you were given only six months to live hat you would you do?”

A question was followed with a challenge about “why” I wasn’t doing those things now?

Both Talan and Simon describe their feelings after the events that shaped their lives as being those of anger, frustration, depression… a sense of ‘why me?’

Both Talan and Simon describe a ‘turning point’ after which something ‘inside’ clicked and gave them a new direction, a new focus.

Both Talan and Simon then engaged almost ’single mindedly’ in a course of actions (behaviours) that led them from where they ‘were’ to where they ‘wanted to be’.

So what can we learn about motivation from their stories?

Firstly it is about accepting CHANGE – having some feelings about that change and more importantly looking beyond the fear, uncertainty and resistance to that change into some alternative future.

Secondly it is about CONTROL – psychologists talk about LOCUS of CONTROL. Individuals with a ‘high locus of control’ will make themselves responsible for their own actions. Those with a  ‘low locus of control’ will tend to put responsibility for change onto other people and situations.

In both Simon and Talan’s case their accidents were completely out of their control. The resulting physical limitations where also out of their control. The became ‘motivated’, for want of a better term, when they started to focus on the things they could control and take responsibility for.

Thirdly it is about the ‘NEED” for a ‘DREAM’ an aspiration or a target.

The popular (cranky and fluffy) notion of The Secret (see my Rational Mystic blog post of Rhonnda Byrne) takes sound psychological and  behavioural advice and turns it into a ‘psuedo-mystical’ belief system. But as Talan, specifically noted, the idea of having a dream and surrounding himself with images that reminded him of his ‘goal’ was very motivational.

Fourthly there is the need to work back from the dream in order to identify the STEPS that need to be taken from the NOW which lead into the FUTURE.

In education we have spent so much time thinking about motivation rather than being motivational that we forget the real value of what have been called SMART targets.

Simple Statements of outcome with a Measure linked to success, based upon Achievable and Realistic steps set within a valid Time frame. Whilst many of you who have heard me speak on the topic of motivation know that I think this model can be improved, I feel that the value of stating goals in terms of steps, timescales and measures is essential to getting where you want to go.

Fifthly it is about celebrating any success that is a ’step in the right direction’. Such celebrations are reminders that there is a journey and that there have been changes. These celebrations will also allow for review and reflection so ensuring that the ‘goal’ remains valid and relevant.

What the stories told by Simon, Talan and many many others tell us is that motivation comes from emotional connection to a goal; a willingness to take control of what you can; to be responsible for your own future and having the strength to bring your behaviours in line the steps you have identified.

It’s about D+PMA+A…

Dream + Positive Mental Attitude + Application

Alan

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13 May 2011
Change Work • Dreams • N.L.P

Stepping Back from Your Dreams

So you’ve written your targets and you’ve made the personal commitment to ‘go for it’ but after several weeks nothing seems to have changed.

What’s going on?

I mean you’ve read “The Secret” and you’ve placed your “cosmic order” and still your life ain’t changed much – it should have just happened shouldn’t it!

Well the truth is all of the positive thinking in the world just won’t make it happen…. All dreams need emotional glue and practical commitment.

The emotional glue is the deep desire for all aspects of the change you are trying to make. At some level your mind will have considered the pros and the cons of achieving your dreams – it may just not have told you all of the things it has considered. Of course we are talking about unconscious processes here so whilst you may think you want a specific outcome, your unconscious mind may have reservations.

Consider the downside of your dreams and ambitions so that you have forced yourself to review your goal completely.

The practical commitment is about having clear steps, processes and pathways towers your goal. Often it is better to set you goal or dream in clear terms then to work backward from the future to the present.

You can ask the question “what will I have to have achieved immediately prior to this?”

Thinking about things in this way can help you not only review your goals consider the effect achieving them will have on you, but also create small, practical steps that lead you to your desired future. It is much easier to commit emotionally to small steps that you have identified as being an integral part of your future.

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11 May 2011
Change Work • Dreams • N.L.P

Dreams and Goals

So here’s the thing you want to be somewhere other than you are….

You have an ambition, a goal a dream.

Are you planning for it I wonder?

More importantly I guess is ‘how clear to you is that dream?’

At some workshop sessions in the last week I was interested in the number of people who wanted to make a change but who had not really thought about what it was they wanted.

A typical conversation went something like this….

Person “i am not happy with my life”

Me “So what are you doing about that.”

Person “Well I”m waiting for things to change……”

Me “So what do you really want for yourself……..”

Person “I don”t really know, just something ……. Well to make me happy”

Me “So what makes you happy…..”

Person “oh, lots of things…..”

And so this pointless conversation went on and on.

It’s very easy to talk about wanting change in terms of unspecified, generalized feelings of happiness, comfort, being loved, feeling less pressure….. It’s also not necessarily going to move you in the direction of obtaining those things.

More importantly waiting for “things to change” is not taking control of your own life. Waiting for things to happen is disowning your personal power and responsibility. At worst this means you make it someone else”s fault if things do not change the way you want them to.

The first thing to recognise is that change is the only constant in the universe. Things never stay the same. If you are not able to see those changes, respond to them and engage with them you will forever be the “victim” or “passive participant” in your own life.

Take control now!

Make some careful decisions about what you want in your life.

Being ‘happy’ is a transient emotional state.

Identify the things that make you happy – be specific.

Being ‘comfortable’ – what do you mean by that? Money? Clothes? Furnishings? Health?

It is perhaps true that all the generalizations we ‘wish for’ are simply personal cop-outs which do little more than remind us that we”re not being who we want to be.

Our futures have to be built around us and the things we can do to bring them about. If we rely on other people and situations to make the changes we are being passengers in our own lives.

One of the most irritating things about this “cosmic ordering” thing as promoted in that rather dubious book “The Secret” is the way that adherents to the system seem to want to hand everything over to the universe knowing that the universe will provide – and if it doesn’t, well, it’s because ……

Your soul purpose was not in line with your desires ….

Or some other pseudo-spiritual guff!

I really wish some of these so called New Age gurus would listen to what they are saying and implying sometimes.

The formula for manifesting change in your own life can be reduced to a simple set of questions…

What do you want specifically?

Create a very clear statement of what you want – what would you see, hear, feel and think were you in that future?

How will you know when you have achieved that?

Make statements about all the things that will be different when you have achieved that dream

Where are you now in relation to where you to be?

Do a reality check to explore your current reality and compare it to what you want. What is missing? How is it different?

What are you doing now to move towards your dream?

Simple, be honest with yourself.

Achieving your goals is about putting the behaviours in place to make the required changes. Simply saying the time isn”t right abdicates all personal responsibility. Even a small change in behaviours that is in line with your dream is something.

Speaking to young people about their ambitions is fascinating. The number of them who tell me that they “want to be famous” is direct result of the “cult of celebrity” invented by the numerous “reality TV” shows that we see.

When asked what they want to be famous for, what skill or talent or ability they want to be recognized the majority do not have any idea!

Now whilst the desire to be famous isn”t perhaps the most carefully thought out ambitions the fact that there is a feeling that “they” will be “discovered” for the uniqueness of their personality (or some fame-worthy attribute) is not taking any responsibility for “their” life and life choices.

Do something – anything that moves you towards your goal and is in line with your values.

Of course the “doing” of something which moves you toward a goal or dream does presuppose that you know what that goal or dream is.

Alan

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